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So, over the past few years of my journey I have learnt a lot about “healing”, but what is healing exactly? To me, it is the rebalancing of our minds, bodies and emotions to a healthy level.
For a lot of us, there is unresolved trauma festering in our minds, resulting in trapped emotions stuck in the body waiting to come to the surface. Emotional healing is when we begin to work with these emotions and traumas. To become aware that:
1. We have unresolved trauma, and
2. That some emotions we feel are sometimes old, not caused by our present reality.
Ever heard of being triggered? The meaning of this is that when something happening in the present, reminds us (even if we don’t realise) of something that happened in the past that hurt us, bringing those emotions to the surface. Then, reactions to present situations can be more emotionally charged than they need to be. The reason we get triggered is to bring our attention to the unresolved trauma we have.
So, knowing this, we can begin to notice the emotions. Something I do sometimes and have shown a few friends (they say it helped!), is to:
Lie down if possible and put your hand over where you are feeling the emotion. Try and recognise the emotion, and go through other times you have felt it. You may have a memory come to the surface of something that hurt you as a child, or a series of memories, allow them to fill your mind.
Think about these memories and why they hurt you, and feel the emotion you are feeling. It may be uncomfortable, but it won’t last forever. Reflect on these memories, and there are many things you can do whilst doing this. You could imagine your adult-self soothing your child-self, in a way you may have needed an adult to at the time. You could reframe the situation from an adult perspective, perhaps the same thing wouldn’t hurt you now because you have a different level of understanding.
Allow the emotion and memories to fill you, until they begin to subside.
Have a big drink of water afterwards, and a shower if you feel like it to wash away the energies you have just released.
I have seen this referred to as “Inner Child Healing” – however your traumatic memories can be from any point in your life. A lot of trapped emotions do come from childhood, but trauma can happen at any age. If you like, you can journal out your experiences afterward.
This is one method of healing I know and like which you may like to implement! It is especially useful if having a panic attack, you can soothe yourself in the moment and allow the fearful emotions to speak to you, tell you what is hiding within that is causing this outburst of fearful energies.
Healing is much more than this, though, it includes the mental, physical and emotional bodies as prior mentioned. This practice focusses on the emotional body. The last post, about choosing positive thoughts, that would be helping to heal the mental body (mind). Now, the physical body, there are many ways to take care of that and most health knowledge we are taught in school surrounds it as opposed to the mind and emotions. Eating healthily, exercising, and so on help our physical bodies.
Our bodies are also energetic. There are healing methods such as Reiki which utilise this and help heal all the bodies. You can find Reiki healers with relative ease – or try it yourself! I do it for myself, and sometimes for friends and family (and their pets, which my friend swore gave their pooch more energy). Practices like yoga and qi gong which are good for our minds and bodies too, can also help overtime unstuck blocked emotions.
Emotional healing involves resolving these past traumas. Emotions are energy, we literally feel them, and if we stuff them down they can fester and dictate our behaviour, limit us. I know that over the past few years I have began unpacking my unresolved emotions: but there is still ways to go. A lot of people can benefit from healing.
There are coping mechanisms a lot of adults use throughout the day to numb them to their emotions. Drugs, basically. How many of us just can’t live without coffee? If I am honest, I feel like I am starting to get to the point where I may need to give these things up in order to make the next stage of healing. To see what emotions are hiding under my habits.
In the first stages, giving up bad habits causes uncomfortable emotions which may have nothing to do with past trauma, just chemical addiction within the brain and body. This first stage is what prevents a lot of people including myself from overcoming bad habits. I prophesise that beyond this stage lies more emotions, good and bad, raw. Old ones that need tended to. New ones you are able to experience not being numb.
I’ll tell you why I am confident this is actually worth it. I got acupuncture once, on my liver meridian (meridians are energetic pathways in the body, derived from Chinese medicine), and it had an unexpected effect. On the bus home, I felt a shift in my body and an emotion I recognised came to the surface. I sat and felt it and realised I hadn’t felt it in years, it was amazing. Even though the emotion was negative, it felt so raw that I was happy to be feeling it, and was able to heal the memories that arose.
I feel like this kind of experience is what is waiting on the other side of bad, emotion numbing habits. However, in the meantime, I have still been able to make good way on my healing journey and I have no doubt you can do the same without completely overhauling your life. Take one thing at a time. The above method I described is a good place to start, if you are able to take a few minutes or however long you need when these negative emotions arise.
Emotions can be stored in the body. Yoga can help with this, stretching muscles which usually don’t get stretched can release this pent up energy. I find it hard to implement yoga daily, to be honest.
Something that I feel like is a big issue for me on my journey is belief that stuff will work. I think I have a subconscious belief that everything is pointless, that I’m a lost cause, and it leads me to not bother with a load of useful things such as yoga. This is a limiting belief.
Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are another thing we can work on during our healing journey. They are extremely difficult to overcome, I have found, maybe I am too cynical or something. But, by their very nature they are hidden from us. And, lead us towards certain behaviours that can be unhelpful for our growth.
For instance, the belief that we are unsuccessful can lead us towards avoiding opportunities for success. The belief that we are unlovable can lead us towards sabotaging relationships. All these behaviours are subconscious, hidden from us, and naturally on your healing journey you may begin to notice where these beliefs you have are holding you back.
The first step to overcoming limiting beliefs is to become aware of them, then to actively recognise when your behaviour is being steered by them. It is most likely going to be uncomfortable, to be honest. Even though I know I hold beliefs that things are pointless, it’s still difficult to overcome. I know it is a limiting belief not based in reality, yet, I still act according to it. I still say “what’s the point? However, some things work whether we believe they will or not, and if taking control of my thoughts (see last post!) can have an effect on my life, why can't other things? For me, trying things although I believe they could be pointless is helping me overcome my limiting belief that everything is pointless.
To fight against them we need to feel the uncomfortable feeling, and literally push through it. Feel what is holding you back and then push past it, do what you want to do, what you would be doing if you didn’t hold this belief, even if you feel uncomfortable doing so. This builds confidence in us, and overtime, our beliefs will begin to mould into more helpful ones we can work with.
These are just a couple of healing modalities I know of, and areas which I feel a lot of people can benefit from. The practice first described, of feeling stuck emotions and reflecting on when we’ve felt them, is a hugely healing practice. Beginning to look reflectively at ones life and notice limiting beliefs is another way to begin your healing journey.
So far on my journey, I have focussed a lot on emotional healing as well as reflecting on patterns in my life. This kind of work is actually very challenging, as sometimes we may notice behaviours in ourselves that we dislike, this is normal. You aren’t perfect. Neither am I, or anyone, and if you notice yourself doing things you don’t like then this is actually good, it means you’re growing, and that you can improve in the future with cognisance of these behaviours. Noticing the hidden, the dark within us, this is called shadow work and is a hugely beneficial practice. It is another method of healing.
So, healing, it’s the process of healing our psyches, emotions and physical bodies. Emotional healing involves resolving past traumas and there are methods described above which can help with that. Limiting beliefs can hold us back in life, and are another thing we can heal within ourselves by pushing through them. You may even have limiting beliefs surrounding healing, thinking it to be pointless or that you are stuck the way you are. By noticing them, we can consciously move through them. These are all steps to healing you can implement in your own life.
What’s the point in all this? Well, as you heal you may start to notice your life improve. Relationships becoming more harmonious, situations becoming more easy to tackle, mood improvements, it’s all connected and healing can help us with that. Something I am really grateful for having gained throughout my healing journey is being less bothered by others behaviour towards me. I used to take things more personally than I do now. It’s incredibly freeing. Also, it makes me excited to see what other benefits lie down the road for me and others.
Happy healing!
Peace n love always,
El x